Isnt it ironic??

We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones that love us. <--- this statement is oh so true.
Why do we take the people in our lives for granted so easily as if they will be there forever to take the pain. In a past week i feel like ive realized more information then i have soaked up in the past year. Ill admit to having someone motivate me to do so but i feel like it is for the best.
For once i am looking at myself at not only who i have been the past 7 years, but who i would like to become now and in the future. I just wanna be a better me, lose weight, control my emotions and be as happy as i was before, when everyone wanted to be around me, and even i wanted to be around me. i havent wanted to be around me in a long time. ill also admit things are confusing! Ive learned how much i have taken people for granted, how ungrateful i have actually been. Right now im on the brand new laptop my mom decided to buy me today out of the blue. (yeah, i would have not appreciated this as much as i do today.) I have been unbelievably selfish and hurt the ones who have loved me whole heartedly what kind of person is that?? idk i just want things to be different and instead of wanting things and not giving "lip service" but i said all that to say this. i dont wanna hurt anyone anymore and i dont want to be hurt. I am now being distracted by my neice. i know i had a point but its completely gone now. I have now been welcomed to the wonderful world of living with children
-L-