Isnt it ironic??

We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones that love us. <--- this statement is oh so true.
Why do we take the people in our lives for granted so easily as if they will be there forever to take the pain. In a past week i feel like ive realized more information then i have soaked up in the past year. Ill admit to having someone motivate me to do so but i feel like it is for the best.
For once i am looking at myself at not only who i have been the past 7 years, but who i would like to become now and in the future. I just wanna be a better me, lose weight, control my emotions and be as happy as i was before, when everyone wanted to be around me, and even i wanted to be around me. i havent wanted to be around me in a long time. ill also admit things are confusing! Ive learned how much i have taken people for granted, how ungrateful i have actually been. Right now im on the brand new laptop my mom decided to buy me today out of the blue. (yeah, i would have not appreciated this as much as i do today.) I have been unbelievably selfish and hurt the ones who have loved me whole heartedly what kind of person is that?? idk i just want things to be different and instead of wanting things and not giving "lip service" but i said all that to say this. i dont wanna hurt anyone anymore and i dont want to be hurt. I am now being distracted by my neice. i know i had a point but its completely gone now. I have now been welcomed to the wonderful world of living with children
-L-

Grateful.

Today is a sad day.
We just found out a dear friend of ours Kevin Cueto got killed in Afghanistan.
Although i wasnt close to him, it got me thinking about everything our Marines
give for this country. For our freedom.
Time, Money, Family, a steady schedule, Sleeping in, Facial Hair, These are just a few things. They tear down their bodies and some , like Kevin, give their lives.
Its ridiculous how badly they get treated here. and even more so about how idiots who have their freedom because of our military oppose the war.
Lee and I have been counting the days down till we get to go home, and before today, i was honestly kinda losing respect for the military. but this incident changed my view completely. Kevin was the first person i actually knew to die over there. Right when i was starting to think it didnt matter, the war didnt matter , the military didnt matter. this happend. Im sorry it took this to realize but from today on , im going to cherish life more and be more grateful for my freedom, because america is great, i have the right to make my own choices.
So i wanna thank him for the laughs and for his friendship and for giving his life just so i can have my freedoms. I know ill see him again one day and i know hes in a much better place than this life.

Stupidity.

It continues to amaze me.
The amount of stupidity that people carry around in themselves is jaw dropping
Unbelievable.
Dear strangers that call me everyday all day long
I'm not sitting here on the other side of this phone holding your packages/checks/
Christmas gifts/bday cards hostage
I'm trying to help you. I do not know your every situation so please don't expect this of me
If you continue to: cuss,argue,raise your voice at me, talk to me like IM the stupid one
Your calls will continually be "disconected :)
Thanks.
Laura
Yes there is a person on the other end of that phone line!
Thank God for the "release" button, for that which I might not get through the day.

-L

beat it.

The dog tore up a roll of toilet paper
And somehow I'm being blamed for it.
This is Normal.
Something goes wrong, beyond anyones control and its my fault.
Normal.
Feeling absolutely fine when things are at their worst.
Normal.
What's the stopping point?
Can someone hit the breaks please?
Movies lie to us, music makes us believe its real but is it?
Watched 500 days of summer last night. Why don't I feel love?
Does it exist?
Is it bullshit? Fantasy? Unrealistic?
Today ... I think so.

update

the new job is working out i think.
i did the whole hanging out with the co-workers thing this weekend and
it was such a blast, sans husband :[ but i think it was better that way (sorry lee)
getting up @ 5am is getting easier, but then again any excuse for getting up in the morning and getting paid for it, is worth it.
cant wait for my next pay check :]
thanksgiving is this week and prepping for that is always fun. cant wait to make pumpkin pie! of course anything with pumpkin is fabulous.
going to get ready for my day, listening to Adele. music is my life source. i probably wouldn't be able to wake up or function if it wasn't for music.

PANDORA SAVES LIVES.

until next time....

Dear Diary.

i haven't been blogging. instead Ive been going old school lately.
writing in my journal.
its simply therapeutic.
plus, i feel like nobody even reads this thing.
but heres a little update.
1. got a new job
2. got a fantastic apartment.
3.got a new obsession with shopping online.


cant wait to get a paycheck, so i can actually go shopping.
thats all ive got for today. but thats probably due to the fact that its 545 am.

"im just disappointed in you"

MARRIAGE. Nuff Said.